It's
2007.
Carol
and I are killing some time in a $40 a night motel somewhere deep in
Rustbelt America. We were twenty miles or so out of Pittsburgh in a
one horse sort of town complete with a crumbling old factory and a
bunch of boarded up shops. The Walmart car park was all but empty and
the only sign of activity were the two shiny Marines who were out and
about looking for recruits for Iraq and Afghanistan.
The
TV was on and I was hopping my way through channel after channel
bizarreness. Then I landed on a political interview with a guy I had
neither seen or heard of before. And yet within about ten seconds the
screen seemed to burst with charisma. Wow.
Who
and what and where? It turned out he was a few months into a crazy long
shot run at the White House. The interviewer chuckled at the length
of the odds he was facing. And the candidate laughed along with the knowing
smile of someone who knew he was going to win even if the rest of the
world didn't.
I
nudged Carol away from her book and pointed at the screen.
“You
need the watch this guy. He's unbelievable.”
So
we watched. Mesmerised. In a forty bucks a night motel in the midst
of Rustbelt Pennsylvania.
Once
again the interviewer indulged in an amused chuckle.
“Senator
Obama, how do you feel about the fact that Hilary Clinton will have
her husband Bill on her team in the campaign. Rather daunting, don't
you think.....?”
The
question provoked an amused smile. “I think you are forgetting that I'll have Michelle on my team. And Michelle's got some game, I tell you.”
When
the show rolled onto the next item, I told Carol this Obama guy would
be the next President. And Carol laughed at the idea of a black man
being President. Not in my lifetime she said. Not a chance.
So
we shook hands on a £1 bet which eighteen months later I duly won.
Watching
Barrack that day for the very first time was one of those light bulb
moments. His eloquence and charisma completely overwhelmed the fact
he was an unheard of nobody out of Chicago. He was just so damned
good it was inconceivable to me that he wouldn't win.
It
was a light bulbs moment which won me a quid.
I
mention this eight year old memory because I had a similar light bulb
moment last night whilst watching 'Question Time'.
The
evening news had carried footage of Nicola Sturgeon bringing the 3000
delegates to the SNP conference to their feet by announcing she was
kicking off the IndyRef 2 preliminaries. Experts had been to quick to
point out this wasn't an actual referendum. Far from it. It was
merely the beginning of a road. It was packing the suitcases and
leaving them ready by the front door. You know, just in case.
And
of course it summoned up howls of outrage and derision from the usual
Unionist suspects. Of course it it. These guys would lack the reason
to exist if they failed to leap in front of the cameras to bay and
mock the very idea of an independent Scotland.
So
nothing new there then.
The
Beeb had shown a bit of foresight and booked Alec Salmond in
anticipation of this kind of thing. And Alec had obviously decided to
foresake the SNP conference in Glasgow for a museum in Hendon.
And
of course the Beeb couldn't have chosen a question along the lines of
'Does the panel think there will be another independence referendum
in Scotland?' Of course they couldn't. Instead the question was a
mocking little number talking about how those who lose a playground coin toss
start begging for the chance of best of three.
So
nothing new there then.
But
from that moment everything was new. Edge of the seat new.
The
UK has become a very different place in the post Brexit world. As the
value of Sterling has plummeted, sales of Cross of St George flags
have broken all records. It is the era of white van man in a land
where racism is the new black. Bigotry isn't simply OK, it seems to
becoming mandatory. Jeremy Hardy summed up Theresa May's shiny vision
rather well on Friday Night Comedy. Her's will be a realm where
everyone will have an equal shot be they black or white, straight or
gay, tolerant of bigoted...'
The
ever adaptable Tories are racing to catch up with the new reality. No
longer do they need to keep their racist tendencies in the closet. Oh
no. The time has come for them to come out and now they are testing the
boundaries like toddling children working out what behaviour is deemed to be amusing and
what behaviour will result in a smack and an early night. They take their lead from the front
pages of the Daily Mail and the Express. The settled will of
the British people is to be xenophobic and racist which means our gallant leaders deem
it to be their democratic duty to be xenophobic and racist. They are
spending their time gleefully testing the waters like teenagers
experimenting with legal highs.
Of course they can only go so far.
Amber Rudd found out the hard way where the boundary was when she
tried out her big idea of naming and shaming businesses who employ too many foreign types.
Not
to worry. A learning curve, right?
And
what a heroic place Brexit Britain is. It is a place where you can be
murdered on the street for the crime of being Polish or being an MP
showing too much love for Johnny Foreigner. It is a place where you
can have your Hijab ripped clean off your head.
23
June has spawned a new Nationalism which marches under the flag of St
George. It's called English Nationalism and it doesn't look much like
the Nationalism we have up here. It is a spitting, snarling, eight
pints into a Friday night Nationalism. It is a Nationalism which
harks back to a time of greatness when irksome wogs were dealt with
by gunboats and Lancaster bombers firebombed German cities. Little
England is getting off on the dream of a new golden age where foreign
types will once again be trained to know their place.
Who
cares if the pound is making like the Zimbabwean Dollar? Who cares if
the rest of the world is starting to look at us like we are some kind
of basket case of deluded losers? England is adopting the strut and
swagger of Millwall fans.
'We
are Millwall, we are Millwall, we are Millwall, from the Den.
No-one
likes us, No-one likes us, No-one likes us, we don't care...'
Once
again the dreams of Empire are coming alive. Once we rid ourselves of
the Muslims and the Poles we can rule the world again. The cotton
mills and the steel mills will all open up and run 24/7. Soon the
shipyards will be clanking with the sound of thousands of highly paid
white men making a new fleet of gunboats to sail out of Portsmouth
harbour to re-conquer the world.
But
first there are enemies to be rooted out. The job stealers from
Eastern Europe. The uppity Muslims who have the cheek to own busy
Spar shops and drive better cars than their customers. And of course
there is the hated Metropolitan Liberal Elite who are plotting to
overthrow the greatest democratic moment in our nation's long and
proud history. What has come as a shock to one and all is the
terrifying truth that this despised Metropolitan Liberal Elite is
sixteen million strong. The hard truth the new heroic
flag carriers of Brexit Britain are having to deal with is that 48%
of us are democracy hating 'Remoaners'.
So
where in all of this was my light bulb moment?
Oh
it was there all right. And it was a hell of a light bulb. It was the
kind of light bulb you expect to find hanging from the concrete
ceiling of a torture room. Bright enough to burn the back of the
eyes.
More
or less as soon as the 'best of three' IndyRef 2 question was asked, the flag of
St George brigade in the studio audience started to bristle. Their
mood was crystal clear. The Scots were well and truly on their list of bad people along with the Muslims and the Poles and the namby pamby tree
huggers. And the panel jumped onto the back of the prevailing mood
with evident glee. There was no hint of the 2014 love bombing. We love you
Scotland.... we really, really do. Please don't leave us. Please
stay.....
Oh
no. None of that. Instead there was mockery and derision. Leave? Oh
yeah. Dream on you pathetic bastards. You lot are poorer than Greece.
You're a complete joke. Leave? Dream on.
They
were Queen Victoria and we were the Matebele. Independence? Oh come
on. You lot couldn't manage for a week. They are the all knowing parents
and we are the thirteen year old having a tantrum and threatening to
run away from home.
And
you could sense Alec was finding it hard to conceal his smile of joy.
Because when IndyRef 2 rolls around, this will be the new Better
Together. No more Mr Nice Guy. No more parents worried sick at their
treasured child making a truly terrible life choice. Instead it will
be unconcealed mockery and derision. Want to go your own way? Course
you do. Like you want to be pathetic and poor, right? You lot? Don't
make me laugh. Yeah, go on then. Have your poxy little vote. Like we
give a shit. Like we are supposed to be worried. As if! You haven't
got the bottle. You'll never have the bottle. Piss off and sleep in a
doorway for all we care.
This
time the words from south of the border will be very different. This time we will be lined up alongside the Poles
and the Muslims. When I was growing up in the seventies, Saturday
night prime time was filled with comedians who made a handsome living
out of cracking Irish jokes and Nigger jokes and mother in law jokes.
Then that kind of thing was deemed to be beyond the pale. But now we live
in suddenly different times. IndyRef 2 will be a time of Scottish
jokes and the millions who have wrapped themselves in the flag of the Cross of St George are all primed and ready to laugh along.
Well,
the Scots don't tend to react well to this kind of thing. Never have
and never will. The response will be pretty straight forward. The
response will be 'away and shite'. The response will be 'Yes' by a
country mile. And there will be nothing anyone will be able to do
about it. Nobody will be able to persuade the Brexit brigade to make
nice. I very much doubt if anyone will even bother to try. Last night Little England had it's say and it will continue to have it's say.
And
we will also have our say. This time we'll say thanks, but no thanks.
This time we'll say 'away and shite' with the lot of you.
This
time we'll say yes.
Anyone
want a quid on it?
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ReplyDeleteI think you've hit the nail squarely on the head Mark. Brittania has found its voice in #Brexit and next time the tone towards Scotland and Scots will be less love-bomb and more bomb-the-bastards. Its delightful that the BBC will be leading the bombing campaign, whether its Andrew Neil and dozens of other arrogant journos/commentators, or via increasingly virulent spite-filled #Leave audiences. As Michelle Obama said "we go high, they go low".
ReplyDeleteA good read and Bang on the Money Mark !
DeleteYes !
ReplyDeleteAlas! There are still so many light bulbs with no switches. We need a 'spark'
ReplyDeleteOoo look,another "let's kick the English" post.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the britex vote was nothing to do with britex,it was a "let's cause mayhem because nobody listens to us" vote.Im originally from the north west where we have 3rd and 4th generation unemployment due to the mines and factories closing in the 80's.They feel abandoned and fogotton about.So the first chance they had to kick off they did.
I'm not saying there wasn't a few idiots voting too,but this was more than that.It was more kick the politician than kick the imagrant!
Oh I fkn hope so, I really hope so 😊
ReplyDelete