Well here they are. The two modern day knights who will lead the line when
the field against
in the buzzing heat of the Amazon jungle. Two young men, one who hails from
Liverpool and one who plies his trade in Italy Liverpool.
For Liverpool. Wayne and Danny ….. and Danny and Wayne.
Superstars. Icons. A list celebrities. Redtop fodder.
And last but absolutely not least….
This is something we hear a great deal about amidst the wailing and gnashing of teeth that accompanies any debate about the realities of Premier League football 2014.
How do we feel about this? Not very happy it seems. News of
Wayne’s new contract has been met with all the usual
comparisons with the take home pay for nurses in A&E and combat infantrymen
in . Helmand Province
When it comes to salaries that closely resemble international telephone numbers, it seems that Footballers and bankers tend to generate the maximum levels of outrage. It has always seemed odd to me how film stars, tennis players and the Royal Family get let off so lightly. I have no clue how much the Queen will rake in over the next five years, but I have an inkling that it will be somewhat more than Wayne and Danny. But of course she deserves every penny that we pay her. Well of course she does. She has fought tooth and nail all of her life to reach the top of the pile where such sums are a truly appropriate reward for her absolute wonderfulness.
Let’s compare and contrast. What has
ever done? He was born poor in one of
the most deprived corners of Wayne
where life expectancy will be rather less than three score years and ten. All
he managed to do was to maximise his talent as a footballer to go one to reach
the pinnacle of his chosen profession. Pathetic when compared to our national treasure
of a Queen. Britain
She was born. And being born isn’t all that easy. And…..
And she has held her knife and fork right for the whole of her life and never once has she poured a stream of expletives into a pitch side camera at Upton Park.
So our beloved Majesty deserves absolutely every penny. Of course she does. She offers a perfect example to every one of her subjects. She is the ideal role model for any youngster who is born into a family with billions of pounds worth of inherited wealth and a surname that has a crown to go along with it.
Would the Queen have been held up as such an utterly perfect icon had she like
been born and raised in Crocky? Doubtful. Utterly wonderful though she may be,
the Queen has never really shown much evidence that she would have been the
kind of gal to drag herself free of the mean streets of Croxteth to become an A
list celeb. More likely she would have ended up behind the counter in the local
Greggs serving sausage rolls to wannabe gangsters. No doubt she would have been
a much loved Wayne Nan to a brood of tearaway
grandkids. In fact, had the Queen been born into a Crocky family instead of a
Royal Family, she would have probably gone on to become a genuinely worthy role
model, but of course that fact would have gone entirely unnoticed because
nobody cares about worthy grandmothers from Britain’s less favoured areas.
It has been a long, long time since
went unnoticed. Ever since that moment
when the sixteen year old Wayne
smashed a thirty yarder past a sprawling, grasping David Seaman, his every move
has been scrutised. Seldom has he been hailed as a lad who has defied all the
odds to make it to the top. Instead he has been slagged off as typical Scouser
who really should in prison. How dare he be granted a contract worth £65
million! That sort of money should never be given to the likes of him. What
about the nurses and the firemen and the brave boys in Wayne …… Afghanistan
I wonder why we never get to hear about the poor old nurses and firemen and soldiers when Parliament nods through a multi million pound contract to keep the Royal Family in the style they have become so very accustomed to. In fact, I can’t remember the nurses and firemen and soldiers being brought up when Andy Murray won
when Daniel Craig took to the red carpet to launch the latest Bond movie.
Daniel Craig attended a comprehensive school in Wset Kirby on the Wirral. A quick glance at Google maps shows that his school was about seven miles or so away from
Wayne’s school in West Derby as the crow flies. And yet there never seems to have been any
undue pressure loaded onto Daniel Craig to become a perfect role model for the
youngsters of Merseyside. For some bizarre reason, if you become a film star,
tennis player or Royal and earn a vast fortune, then there is no accompanying
role model requirement. But if you make it big on the football pitch you are
required to be Mr Perfect in every respect.
It’s ridiculous when you think about it. The perceived wisdom is that footballers are different. Footballers are held in such high esteem by our young people that their every move will be copied and aped. That is why the likes of Nike will pay the likes of Wayne and Danny such fortunes to market their wares. It has become a widely held assumption that young people will sheepishly follow football stars in everything they wear and do. If
modelling a bright pink hooded top, then millions of uber-gullible youngsters
will follow suit. Wayne
I wonder. Our boy Danny has become something of a star over recent months. He is now a shoe-in for the World Cup and he is knocking in goals for fun in front of the Kop. Surely here is the kind of lad who the tabloid press will demand to become a role model for all reprobate youngsters. The assumption is that if Danny proves to be model citizen like the Queen, then lots and lots of young Scousers will stop carrying knives and taking drugs and robbing shops.
Over the last few months Danny has been much questioned by the media. Why is everything suddenly going so well Danny! What is your secret Danny! And Danny has consistently answered these questions with great directness and clarity.
Danny has told us that his success in front of goal is all down to God. Danny is very big on God and he never misses a chance to praise his Lord and maker.
If we are to buy into the tabloids' role model agenda, then there must have been a huge upsurge in young Scouse lads and lasses piling into their local churches to catch the Sunday service. The average age of
Liverpool congregations must have fallen from seventy to
twenty. Numbers choosing to take a Religious Studies GCSE must have double and
Well maybe there has been a like in youthful religious fervour across the churches of Greater Merseyside as Danny’s dancing feet have lit up Anfield. But I doubt it. And I haven’t noticed much of a redtop media campaign to demand Danny should be knighted for his efforts to persuade British youth to embrace the light of the Lord. Does this surprise anyone? I doubt it. All this role model stuff is just a part of the spiteful media agenda against the poor. When poor lads from the wrong side of the tracks manage to make good, we sneer and scoff. Such lads shouldn’t be allowed to get rich. How dare they? That kind of money should only be paid to lads from public schools and Royalty.
That said, it is still hard not to be thoroughly disgusted at the ludicrous amounts our clubs are paying their players. I don’t know how much an Old Trafford season costs, but I guess it will be similar to what we pay at Anfield: about £800. Basically it will require the cash from 20,000 season tickets to pay
his salary each year. It goes without saying that coming up with £800 to buy a season
ticket is not an easy thing to do in these tough economic times. I hate to
think how many divorces will have been caused among the 20,000 disciples of
Mordor as a result of £800 being spent to go the match. I remember seeing an
article way back when in the late 70’s comparing the salaries earned in
different professions. I cannot remember the exact details, but Mick Martin who
was the captain of United at the time was earning £42,000 a year which was
about three times as much as a copper or a nurse. Now Wayne earns 500 times more than a copper or a
Which of course is ludicrous.
But it is hardly his fault. Has
made the right
decision in signing over the rest of his career to the dark forces of Mordor in
exchange for £65 million? Probably not. Already he will have more cash stowed
away than he will ever be able to spend.
I expect he has taken some time to think about the rest of his life and what he
wants it to look like. He has been guided by the fact that he will in all
probability beat Bobby Charlton’s record and go on to be the highest ever goal
scorer for Mordor. Wayne
Well that is all fine and dandy. But you had the opportunity to hit the ball out of the park
and you have completely missed it. Wayne
Now that would have been classy
. Really, really classy and the rest of
you life would be so much the better for it. Instead you have sold your soul
for the gold of Mordor and you will end you playing days in that ghastly corporate mausoleum that was once upon a time a football stadium. Wayne