I
have never written out a pitch to any of the Silicon Valley giants
before. I guess I will just have to wing it. I gather you guys
don't go in for neck ties and old school formality, so maybe you will give
me a pass for my terminally dodgy grammar. I gather you guys also hate
paper, so I give you my word of honour never to print these words out.
I reckon bullet points are probably the way to go.
So. Go.
WHO
AM I?
A
pulp fiction writer who is punting an idea in your direction.
HOW
MUCH CASH AM I AFTER?
Not
a penny, not a brass farthing, not a cent. As in zip, zero, nothing.
SO
WHY AM I BOTHERING WITH THIS OPEN LETTER?
Because
I am father to two mixed race sons and I am getting seriously pissed
off/concerned about the rise in race hate in Britain in the wake of the
Brexit vote.
SO
WHAT'S IN THE IDEA FOR UBER?
Loads.
Masses and masses of positive PR in return for barely any cash spent. You get to do good for the families of lots of your drivers. You get to feel the warm glow of doing the right thing at the right
time. Silicon Valley is all about choosing to wear white hats instead
of black hats, right guys?
BACKGROUND.
Britain
calls a referendum on its membership of the European Union – 'Brexit'.
The campaign gets nasty, ugly and toxic. Elements of the 'Leave' side
play the race card and elements of the tabloid press give over their
front pages to hating foreigners. The 'Leave' side wins the day and
parts of the community take this win as a signal. All of the sudden
they feel victory has given them the right to racially abuse any
foreigner they can find. Incidents of race hate climb sharply.
SO
WHO IS ACTUALLY DOING IT?
There
is not hard evidence yet. But we can take a guess. The older
generation voted overwhelmingly for 'Leave' and so it seems likely much of the racial
abuse will be coming from the older end of the age scale. Under 24's
voted 'Remain' to the tune of 75%. The last few days have demonstrated
that young people are well and truly pissed off. They reckon their
future has been stolen by people who will be long gone before this
particular future arrives.
ARE
YOUNG PEOPLE IN THE MOOD TO FIND AN OUTLET FOR THEIR OUTRAGE?
It
would appear so. Early days mind.
HOW
DO MOST YOUNG PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT RACISM?
Most
hate and despise it. They have grown up in classrooms filled with all
creeds and colours. Racism makes no sense to them. The see it as one of those
pathetic things stupid old people hang onto.
MIGHT
YOUNG PEOPLE BE READY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
It
looks and feels like they most probably are. Look at who is
supporting Jeremy Corbyn and Bernie Sanders. Lots of young people are outraged at the selfish, nastiness of the older generation.
AYE
RIGHT, BUT DO TODAY'S YOUNG GENERATION ACTUALLY EVER GET OFF THEIR OVER PAMPERED BUTTS AND ACTUALLY DO
ANYTHING?
Oh
yeah, sure they do. Check out the 'Indignados' in Spain. A potted
history. Post Lehman Brothers, the Spanish banks found
themselves up the creek. So the bankers started to crack the whip and call in
the poor buggers who had got behind on their mortgages. This meant
they were sending out bailiffs to evict pensioners and turfing them out
onto the streets. Well. Most pensioners have grandchildren and the
grandchildren were pretty damned angry at what was going down. So the
young people branded themselves as the 'Indignados' and found a way
to make it stop. OK Gran. Listen up. If the bailiffs turn up, DON'T
open the door. You text me and I will fire out text to my local 'Indignados' group. Everyone will drop everything they are doing and
get themselves round to your place. Within 5 minutes of you sending
the text we will have the bailiffs outnumbered by 50 to one. No
contest.
And
so they did it. And it worked. Every time banks sent out their bailiffs round
to evict pensioners the bailiffs were confronted by hundreds of angry young
people. The banks had a tantrum and told the police step in and fire off some tear
gas. The police told the banks to get stuffed. In the end the banks
gave up trying and wrote off the debt.
It
was people power and it worked.
DO
UBER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AT THE MOMENT?
Of
course you do. You already have the App. If one of your drivers finds
themselves in trouble with a passenger, all the driver needs to do is to hit the
App on their phone and every other driver in the vicinity will head
their way to back them up. People power, right?
SO?
So
maybe you could tweak this driver safety App a touch and stick it up
on iTunes free at the point of downloading.
TO
DO WHAT AND WHO FOR?
Well maybe I'm an immigrant living in Britain. I watch the news. I
read the paper. I check out Twitter. And what I see makes me scared.
Race hate is on the rise. The streets don't feel so safe any more. I
feel alone and vulnerable. I feel eyes are on me. I hardly dare open
my mouth. So I download the Uber 'Race Hate Alarm' App from iTunes or
wherever. So if some meathead gets in my face and starts telling me
to get back from where I have come from, all I need to do is hit the
icon on my phone. Just like ordering an Uber cab, right?
OK.
SO THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
Uber
will have by this time used its mastery of the online world to
promote the new App to all the young people who are disgusted and
appalled at the post Brexit rise in race hate. If their phone buzzes
with an alarm in their vicinity, they can make their way to where in
incident is playing out. Then they get out their phones and start
filming whilst at the same time letting the racist idiot know exactly
what they think of them. The footage goes up on Youtube and the
racist is suddenly kind of worried to show a public face. The person who has
been attacked feels protected and welcomed. Even if they are not
attacked, they will be able to check out their phone at any time to see lots of
re-assuring blips which represent young people in the vicinity who
have signed up to make a stand against racism.
DOES
THIS WORK FOR UBER?
Oh
come on guys! What age group represents your main customer base?
Young people. Are they going think good things about you if you do
this? Duh. And let's face it, you have a whole bunch of skin in this particular game. What percentage of your drivers were born outside the UK? 80%?These are your people who are being attacked right now. Will it cost you much? I doubt it. Most of the technology
is already written. A few days worth of time for some of your smart
guys and it will be job done. A mix of Uber and the young can put
these idiots back in their nasty caves. Imagine how good that would
make you feel. It's called doing the right thing guys. Go on. Give it
a go.
THAT
IT?
Yup.
That's it. Over to you.
Great idea, but there must be no vigilantism or violence; on the part of the user.
ReplyDeleteAlso, how do we keep it out of the hands of the abusers?, who may us it to find a victim.
I am sickened by the reports, post Brexit, the political and chattering classes have a lot to answer for.